walterzuey ([info]walterzuey) wrote,

The Monopoly of Poker

After getting a copy of The Enlightened Bracketologist, and spending long hours playing a certain boardgame with my daughter, I've now decided to commandeer my own data-presentation semiotic. First entry:

The Monopoly of Poker
Go                      = Day Job Paycheck, skim $200 for poker
Mediterranean Avenue    = Paul Phillips
Community Chest         = Get Layne another Jack and Coke, receive $25 toke for services
Baltic Avenue           = Barbara Enright
Income Tax              = Neteller takes 10% of your bankroll
Reading Railroad        = Puggy
Oriental Avenue         = Phil Hellmuth, Jr
Chance                  = Pay Poor Tax: Toke Floorman $15
Vermont Avenue          = Amir Vehidi
Connecticut Avenue      = Mensky
Jail (just visiting)    = visiting Matusow
St Charles Place        = Tony Ma
Electric Company        = Randy Holland
States Avenue           = Huck Seed
Virginia Avenue         = Gus Hansen
Pennsylvania Railroad   = Slim
St James Place          = Dan Harrington
Community Chest         = "Games are good!" - Cash out your IRA early, receive $45
Tennessee Avenue        = John Juanda
New York Avenue         = Chip Reese
Free Parking 	        = get fresh air/ see sunlight/ acknowledge family members
Kentucky Avenue         = Bobby Hoff
Chance                  = F-Word Penalty: Pay Each Player $50 in antes during your timeout
Indiana Avenue          = Howard Lederer
Illinois Avenue         = Scotty Nguyen
B&O Railroad            = TJ Cloutier
Atlantic Avenue         = Erik Seidel
Ventnor Avenue          = Daniel Negreanu
Water Works             = Brent Carter
Marvin Gardens          = Allen Cunningham
Go to Jail              = Go to Rail
Pacific Avenue          = Jesus Ferguson
North Carolina Avenue   = Ted Forrest
Community Chest         = Chip Up Error in Your Favor, Collect $200 -- er $2,000,000
Pennsylvania Avenue     = Barry Greenstein
Short Line              = Johnny Moss
Chance                  = Advance token to the nearest Road Gambler and be cheated double
Park Place              = Phil Ivey
Luxury Tax              = alcohol/blow/escorts/pit problem, $75
Boardwalk               = Doyle Brunson
Tags: monopolisms, poker

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  • 16 comments

[info]oscarmc

June 2 2007, 19:43:23 UTC 4 years ago

Thats pretty funny.

Now if we can just get that Best Of RGP...

[info]walterzuey

June 3 2007, 18:14:55 UTC 4 years ago

I actually crossposted this to rgp, and skimming other recent posts, realized I had NFC who the average guy on rgp is these days....

[info]tiltcity

June 5 2007, 05:13:32 UTC 4 years ago

Heh, I see that your post received zero responses on RGP. How did you decide how to match the players and the properties? Is it increasing skill level for the house/hotel squares? Or random or something else?

Do you have any unsent "best of RGP" things similar to the one(s) you sent out?

[info]walterzuey

June 5 2007, 05:55:26 UTC 4 years ago

Yeah, something like that.

My RGP days were probably several computers and much brain damage ago.

[info]captaino

June 3 2007, 01:47:54 UTC 4 years ago

How about the Monopoly of Scrabble? Dibs on Mediterranean!

[info]walterzuey

June 3 2007, 04:43:25 UTC 4 years ago

I was thinking that might be next, but I gotta pace these things out. I only have three areas of expertise and porn of the 70s is second alphabetically.

[info]hector31

June 3 2007, 04:58:10 UTC 4 years ago

That was tremendous, especially the visiting Matusow line.

[info]danloncaric

June 4 2007, 01:26:31 UTC 4 years ago

Very nice - I'd switch Ivey and Reese, but other than that......

[info]pimpofpoker

June 5 2007, 08:25:01 UTC 4 years ago

1. How in the hell is there not a spot on the poker monopoly board for Maverick?
2. Oriental Ave.- How do you not put Juan Juanda or Scotty Ngyuen here...or, my personal choice for this spot: Daniel Negreanu.
3. Your hatred of Phil Hellmuth is obvious, but really shouldn't he be put in Ted Forrest's place since I've been hearing that Ted is poor again? Actually, Water Works would have been perfect for Phil since we're always giving him a crying towell.
4. Chance-Binions catches you counting cards, backrooms you, and then steals your bankroll.
5. Community Chest- Maverick Tilts entire table- Pay $25 for repairs to cardroom.
6. Chance-Maverick hits dealer with card- Pay $10 in doctors fees.
7. Community Chest- You just married a mormon. She comes home from mall and says you owe her mother $600. Pay $600 or never have sex again.

[info]gijoel666

June 12 2007, 11:29:06 UTC 4 years ago

I'm not a poker player so forgive my ignorance, but are you talking about James Garner, Mel Gibson or Tom Cruise?

Jimster, I'm glad to see you give props to the elder statesman, that's pretty damn cool. I would have put Phil Ivey on Boardwalk, but I have strong reason to believe you know a lot better than me, especially given that I have not yet even heard of a handful of the folks you named.

[info]walterzuey

June 12 2007, 17:25:23 UTC 4 years ago

pimpofpoker = maverick

http://tinyurl.com/2vlf49 , for example or
http://tinyurl.com/2szbym as way of identification, but I'd have to really work to find the good stuff.

[info]gijoel666

June 13 2007, 01:25:44 UTC 4 years ago

Heh, judging by those links, he sounds a lot like what I suspect I'm perceived as by more than a few cgpers, maybe with a healthy helping of Kenji mixed in. I'm glad he has a few defenders too, all guys who are too smart for their own good should be entitled to a droplet of understanding once in a while.

[info]gijoel666

June 12 2007, 11:32:32 UTC 4 years ago

Monopoly of Scrabble

Oh, and btw, I've got dibs on Ventnor Ave. since I spent about a dozen summer vacations there as a kid.

[info]walterzuey

June 12 2007, 17:21:17 UTC 4 years ago

Re: Monopoly of Scrabble

Hmm, without iterating from Bwalk, off the top of my head, I'd guess that's pretty near to where you'd be. Maybe Pacific.

[info]extempore

October 21 2008, 10:57:34 UTC 3 years ago

Mediterranean Ave, wtf! Now you know how often I read your blog.

[info]walterzuey

October 21 2008, 13:15:30 UTC 3 years ago

Heh. I thought the real dig was (insert Ludlum title) The Enright Juxtaposition. Glad that finally stuck.
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